Me, Myself and I

Sometimes your biggest enemy in life is yourself;
Your past, your present and your future;
Me, Myself and I.
The one person you can trust in life is yourself;
And you hate yourself, you want to kill yourself.
Those mistakes as a child come to haunt you;
Self-alienation, self-abuse begins to taunt you;
Frustration and imaginary suicide attempts.
What have I become? Who have I become?
This is not the me which I know of.
Why do I believe everything done is right?
Yet it is the exact opposite, thought I disagree with all my might.
Everything is wrong, no one is on my side;
Sometimes I think that I'm going crazy;
I have nobody in my life;
Just me, Myself and I. Just maybe.
Loneliness traps me in this atmosphere;
Seems like my only real friend is indeed my mirror;
Have I progressed in life, or am I still the same?
Growing up I had dreams of fame;
Now all I have left is my name and this pain.
If having friends and family are the most important things in life;
I mustn't be alive. I must be dreaming;
For I don't know what to do with myself.
I don't know who to believe;
I can't even believe myself;
Everything I do goes horribly wrong;
It's just Me, Myself and I.
Nobody else;
Look me in my eyes;
Please don't be scared of me;
I need you. Just believe.

All I have is Me, Myself and I.
It's time to turn off the lights.

Reading Response #1

The Catcher in the Rye

Reading Response #1

Theme

Throughout the novel, there are a few small and miniature themes but the one that really sticks out to me is growing up, and overcoming your struggles and issues through life. The main character in the novel, Holden has had a rough experience in life, and wants to change it yet everything he does, he ends up giving up or messing up the situation. Holden himself knows it was well. The young man feels excluded from everyone in the world, as if he is living by himself on an imaginary planet. With all the hate, and distress which was implemented on him as a child, he has become bitter and mad at everything and everyone in the world. As a child, Holden had trouble in school and at home with his family. That resulted in him ending friendships and beginning to live life on his own. And that’s exactly how he grew up: on his own, and in pain. This has made his life experience very lonely and overwhelming. Holden believes that everything must be done his way/the way he likes it or there is a problem. He is convinced that everything in the world is phony and fake. What he doesn’t realize is that the evil names he calls others he does himself. He tends to call others “stupid” and “morons” but he is not exactly mentally fit. When he decides to leave his school in Pennsylvania and travel to New York, on the train there he meets an older woman and gives her false information about himself. But, he doesn’t realize that he is now being a phony himself. Adulthood scares him, and he knows that as he progresses in life this will get worse and worse. The theme is developed in the book because in the beginning of the novel, Holden always tries to single himself out from others and tends to be alone for the most part. With all the bitterness he shows, he has no true friends; he has no one to watch his back. But as the story progresses and he has more encounters with ‘the real world’ in New York, he realizes that excluding yourself from others and attempting to live life on your own will get you no where. In the end of the novel, the only person that ends up caring for him is his sister, Phoebe. In the bigger picture, the theme tells the reader that problems occur in life and it is normal, but it is up to you to keep your head held high and stay on track. You should always follow your heart and do what your mind tells you. If you begin to do something and you can see it going in a bad direction, change it up and start something new. This theme actually tempts me because in elementary school I went through the same kind of process. I was used to being singled out and excluded from certain groups, and it was tough. But I still managed to keep my head up high and look where it got me now.

Character

Holden Caulfield

The main character and narrator in the novel is Holden Caulfield. He is the only real character who has a big meaning in the story, and the only one who really catches your eye. Holden isn’t your average storybook hero and he is very peculiar to be honest. Holden is the narrator and the world really revolves around him in the novel. Sometimes he confuses me, but most of the time I can see exactly where he is coming from. Holden believes that God hasn’t exactly focused on him and set his eyes on making the young mans life great. He views it as if god isn’t on his side and he can’t cope with that problem. Holden also thinks this because he hasn’t exactly been up to par in his life experience, so he has trouble understand others and is always in denial when it comes to life situations. He always comes up a bit short and ends up punishing himself for it, and letting his head slip and fall down. He is sick and tired of everyone and everything in life and isn’t exactly mentally stable as well. He discriminates people but still ends up trying to befriend them or trying to get to know them. He was a troubled and confused youth and has had an odd point of view growing up. Holden does his best to cling onto childhood and friendships, but always loses the battle. The boy failed and has been kicked out of four schools, and has never had a real social life. He is deluded and thinks that everyone is evil but he doesn’t realize he does evil deeds himself. But in all honesty, I can’t blame the man for what has happened and what he has done in his life, as it has been extremely depressing. His sister Allie died when he was young, and a good friend of his committing suicide. A depressing childhood usually means a negative state of mind throughout life. He doesn’t really have anyone now as an adult, so he tends to be very judgmental and only care about a few people. Holden’s character develops in the novel because he becomes more and more forgiving as the novel progresses. He begins to see life through other people’s eyes and relate to their lifestyles. He goes from seeing “phonies” and “fakes” everywhere to seeing real people, and real minds. In all his life, Phoebe; his sister was the only one he truly loved. Towards the end of the novel he wants to spend the rest of his life with her as he offers her to run away with him but in the end he declined himself because he knew she’d be better off safe and at home, without him.

Phoebe Caulfield

Phoebe isn’t mentioned too often in the novel because everything is about Holden and his lifestyle, but she is still a main character. Phoebe is Holden’s younger sister and she is the love of his life. She is the only one in the world he thinks about because she keeps him going, and living life with grace and pleasure. If it takes yelling and hate to keep her brother on track that is exactly what she will do. Although being 6 years younger than her brother she still keeps his head on the road to success and understands what its like to grow up, despite the age difference. You wouldn’t think the two of them were related because they have two completely different mindsets. Towards the end of the novel, Phoebe ends up knowing her brother better than he knows himself. She knows that all of this hate is getting to him and has made him become really depressed and making him feel ‘unloved.’ Holden is very unstable and needs all the love and support that he can get and that is what she lends him. She realizes that although he is older, he really needs her more than she needs him.

Mood/Atmosphere

The mood and/or atmosphere in this novel is very dark and depressing, yet a bit comedic. Throughout the novel, Holden is very gloomy and cold; he isn’t exactly the happiest camper around. There isn’t very much excitement in the novel as everything is dark, quiet and negative. Holden is a negative person in general. He is lonely and believes that no one in the world is ever on his side, excluding his sister Phoebe. Something bad is always happening in Holden’s world and it never ends good, or even average. His point of view isn’t exactly as bright as normal humans as he has seen a lot of death and punishment as a kid. You rarely see Holden laugh, unless it’s because he is making fun of someone. He rarely smiles or even socializes with others. Overall, he really doesn’t have anyone in his life except for his sister. When Holden is by himself he is the normal Holden, sad and dark but when he is with Phoebe he is a completely different person. He adds some brightness and luminescent colours to his personality. He then becomes nicer, and more caring. He gets a more positive feel to the novel and it makes him seem like a nice guy. However in the last chapter, Holden decides to stay home and still believes that liking people will lead to personal misery. Here we realize that he will forever have a negative state of mind, when alone.

Conflict

The conflict in The Catcher in the Rye is Man vs. self, or in this case Holden vs. himself. Holden is a man who always ends up being on the wrong side of the stick and never achieving or getting what he looks for in life. The most important aspect of life is having a social and successful childhood and that is the one this Holden did not have as a youth. That is what has made his life become dark and gloomy. He always excludes himself from others but doesn’t realize it just makes him feel more depressed and hate life in general. He grew up with no social life and ends up living it exactly the same as the story progresses. As the story progresses you can see that he easily starts arguments with others, and this is where the lack of social life kicks in. Through all the fire and flames, the protagonist of the story tries to make his life feel better but it always ends up going wrong which makes him feel as if it is all fate and his life was meant to be lived like this. In this case, making himself want to fit in more ends up being his downfall.

Setting

The setting in the novel starts in Pennsylvania and ends in the bright state of New York. The story takes place in the 1950’s and is a lot different from the modern day lifestyle. It is a cold winter in New York, and that is when the story unfolds. Holden likes to take life slow and hates speed and rush in general. However, New York is extremely bright, fast-paced and amazingly hectic. Oddly enough, these characteristics are the exact opposite of Holden’s. His life is dark, depressing and couldn’t get any worse in his eyes. Holden hates adulthood and believes everything in regard to adults is “phony.” Once again, New York is one of the most famous cities in the world known for its companies, landscapes and the people who live there.

Here is a list of important settings:

- Pencey Prep

- Holden’s hotel room in New York

Pencey Prep is the school Holden went to as a child. This is where Holden came to the conclusion that everyone in life is fake as he was excluded and alienated from everyone. In Holden’s hotel room, he lets his mind unfold and shows the reader how he feels about everyone in the world.